I haven’t written up a blog post in a long time. So I’ve set my Firefox home page to my blog’s Add New Post page. Perhaps, if it opens up in my face every day, that will inspire me to write up more blog posts more regularly. Will it work? What other strategies do bloggers use?

This post was originally published on the Young Feminist Wire here.

I spent the last weekend at an inspiring feminist retreat here in Lebanon where a group of 15 young feminists got together to evaluate and strategize their collective work. The group was diverse in its age range from early 20s to early 30s, in its level of expertise from experienced activists to newcomers, and also in its activism strategies from community workers to writers and researchers. It was, therefore, important for us to ensure that everyone had an equal space to express their views.

Besides planning our work for the next six months, we also really wanted to revitalize our energies and rekindle our team spirit because, like all groups, we were going through a bit of a rough patch in working together. And so one of our members suggested an idea that was brilliant in doing just that and I thought I would share it with all of you and highly recommend that you use it in your meetings or retreats. The activity is called Rounds of Appreciation, and here’s how it went.

At the end of every panel, we all took turns appreciating every speaker. In a few sentences, we each expressed what we value most about that person, be it her work or her personality, showing gratitude for all the great things she brings into our lives. It was a surprise to all of us just how much we were grateful for in each other. And to all of us, being appreciated meant so much more than any reward or compensation. We forget, often, as we go through our busy days, trying hard to hand in that article on time, or make it to that meeting, or follow up on that project, or respond to that sexist song, to stop and say thank you to each other. And so it was extremely touching and important to hear – especially from people who are our friends and fellow feminists – those words: I appreciate you.

It led to an amazingly positive retreat and framed all debates and discussions in a loving environment that has spilled over to the dozens of other members of our feminist community. Try it! And let us know how it goes. Also, feel free to share your own activist tools and strategies on the Wire so that we can learn best practices from each other.

*This post was wishful thinking*

Good morning, Lebanon! And Happy International Women’s Day! I am writing from New York city, where I have been attending sessions at the 54th Commission for the Status of Women. Rumors had been going around since last week that the Lebanese government is going to pass the amendment to the nationality law, granting women the right to pass on the Lebanese nationality to their children and husbands. And the rumors turned out to be true! They are passing the law today!!

Taken from Nationality Campaign's Blog

What a coincidence, just yesterday I attended a panel by WLP with two prominent Arab feminists (Amal Abdel Hadi from Egypt and Lina Abou Habib from Lebanon) who talked about the regional campaign to lift CEDAW reservations. And now our long-awaited dream is finally here:

A Lebanese woman is now a full Lebanese citizen: she can give the Lebanese nationality to her husband and to her son. Congratulations on a right long overdue!

It is said that Minister Mona Afeiche will be announcing this wonderful piece of news later today, March 8, as the world celebrates 100 years since the idea of International Women’s Day was born. What a happy occasion for all Lebanese women to celebrate!

Of course we were all concerned that the Lebanese government would be racist and exclude Palestinians from this human right, but, indeed, they have lived up to their duties and have not excluded anyone. Excellent job, 7oukoumitna! Good for you! Finally, ONE THING the Lebanese government has done that has made me proud. Bravo finally acknowledging that women are human beings too and that they deserve the same rights as men. Bravo for rising above your pettiness and stupid out-of-date political debates. Bravo Lebanon!

I don’t have much information to share at this point, but those of you in Lebanon should contact:

• Ministry of Social Affairs +961-1-612870
• Ministry of Finance (just cos Raya Haffar Al Hassan is a woman and we must congratulate her) +961-1-642758
• Ministry of Interior (because Ziad Baroud has been backing us up for a long time and we must thank him) +961-1-754200
• Prime Minister (if you want to thank Saad Hariri himself) +961-1-746800

Looking forward to reading the papers and analysis about this tomorrow. And for today, happy women’s day all the way from a freezing United Nations.

Because, in a nut-shell, we’re in the trickiest line of work there is, and what we need by our sides are friends – not colleagues.

I never liked the term “professional” – even less so when I moved to social justice work. What does it mean when an activist is “professional”? Does it mean she answers her emails on time? Standardizes her communication? Sends “official” responses to people? Is diplomatic with those who tick her off? Conforms to ways of social engagement?

What does it mean when we come, as activists from different organizations to work together? And why in the world have we failed so miserably to do so in Lebanon? I hate the word “network” almost as must as I hate the word “NGO.” They are both loaded with nasty power dynamics. Sometimes I catch myself thinking: this organization will have to respond to our request because of so-and-so a factor. Leverage, waste, favors, funding, all those crappy things we don’t want to deal with as feminists. But the past two weeks I learned something very important. What tips the scale is not how many organizations you know or work with. It’s the quality of activist friends you have.

As feminists in particular, we need a lot more than funders and networks and partners and supporters. We need friends. And not in the “become a friend of this NGO” sense of the word, but real friendship. We need to work with people we can talk to about our lives, about our pains. We need people we can genuinely share our successes with. We need people who will say “let’s talk about this big project over beer at our favorite pub – I’m buying.”

Indeed, I have discovered lately that I can’t possibly work on feminist initiatives with people who aren’t my friends. I can’t depend on organizations where I don’t have any friends. The support they give you is important. They have your back and you have theirs. You can focus on the real problems, rather than on internal struggles. You know they will be honest and trustworthy and are not secretly out to cause you more harm than good. Come to think of it, I don’t have many good friends in my life anymore who aren’t activists. That’s a good thing.

So lesson of the day is: one must, if she wants to succeed as a feminist, invest in good friends, both inside and outside the team. It pays back when you need them the most. We don’t have to all work together in the same organization. Some of us are radical feminists, some of us are environmentalists, some of us are academics, some of us are researchers, some of us are filmmakers. We do different things but we get each other. We know how hard it gets. And we know we can count on each other.

Last week I needed a big favor and I turned to two organizations to help me. One of them is directly concerned with my project (supposedly) and instead of helping, they pissed me off. The second does very different work than mine, but the minute I sent them an email saying: “I dunno, I’m thinking of this, what do you think?” I got instant replies from almost everyone saying: “Whatever you need, I’m here for you, here’s how I can help.” It completely boosted my morale, just like the Army of the Dead comes to Aragorn’s rescue in LOTR. What was the key distinction between the two organizations? The second group are good friends of mine. Of course they will help.